Posts Tagged ‘Pain’

I wrote this a few nights ago:

So I’m sitting at home on my deck, enjoying a cigar and a the calm of night. As I look across my plastic deck table to an area normally unoccupied I see a toilet. Odd, right? Normally the only thing on this wall is a window and maybe a spider-web.

I mean not having any sort of background as to how it got there one might wonder, “Why do they have a toilet on their deck? Is it functional?” Both of these are entirely legitimate as this is not a standard scenario.

Now, I’m under the impression that generally, in a newer neighborhood, there would exist rules and regulations against this sort of thing. However, these sorts of rules do not exist in my neighborhood.

Anyway, this toilet on my deck got me thinking (don’t they always?)

How similar is a toilet on our deck to something else in our lives? It’s out of place, it should be taken care of, if I were to have a BBQ people would certainly ask questions. What if I moved the toilet to the front porch instead?

Anyone who walked or drove by could see it. People would more than likely talk about it, maybe not to us, but rest assured, there would be some sort of talking. Sure, some neighbors will ask about it, those that know us and are comfortable enough would even offer to help get rid of it. Though, to offer to help get rid of first involves some sort of background. Why it’s there, if we do in fact intend to move it and so on.

So, what if the toilet were actually some sort of deep spiritual issue? Some may hide it deep in their soul (the deck) so only those closest to us might see or know about it. Then there are those issues we wear on our sleeves (the porch), those that everyone knows about and we choose to not try and hide them.

Either way, no one is helping you with that toilet without first seeing it, then asking about it, right?

I know this is a ridiculous comparison but think about it. How often do we expect to help someone with some deep spiritual hurt without first finding out why they’re hurt or attempt to help someone out of a rut without finding how they fell into the rut to begin with? This is an important step to actually helping someone.

I’ll refer back to a post I made a while back about shutting up and listening. There are plenty of scriptures to point to the idea that we should listen and assess, ask questions and actually pay attention to the answers before we try and even speak.

In a nutshell: you cannot begin to help someone or be helped yourself until there is some amount of background. To help without any background is like throwing a dollar of gas in an empty tank. It may get you a little further but, certainly not to your desitnation.

You cannot claim to truly love others without listening, and helping.

Goodnight.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

- John 16:33 NLT

From the mouth of Christ – We “will have many trials and sorrows.” This is part of life here on earth. The good news though, is that we can find peace in Him. Right?

Ideally yes but, for some reason, I find myself escaping this pain of life on my own. I find anything I can to relieve myself of the pain and pretend its not there – I escape, if you will. Why then would we pretend that pain doesn’t exist when Christ himself said that it’s there. He didn’t say “Because of me you will have no pain.” He said we would, absolutely, have pain.

Most of the time, however, we pretend its not there. We drown it away with whatever we can; music, friends, family, drugs, alcohol, pornography, eating disorders and whatever else you can dream up. One thing I do a lot is drive around and listen to music. Actually, I drive around, listen to music and scroll through the contact list on my phone looking for friends to aid in my escape as well. One year I put 40000 miles on my car and most of the places I really needed to be were within 10 miles of home, I escaped a lot that year – or so I thought.

We’re all escaping something. No matter how much someone seems to have it together they have something deep within them that they are trying to escape. I don’t know what it is but for some reason we all have the hardest time going to God in our moments of pain. These are the times when we can learn the most from God as well as need him the most yet, it seems we run away instead.

Being that pain is a part of life, when we drown it away (or escape from it) it can have some very unhealthy effects. I can’t think of anything that would be used to escape pain that would not also fall into the category of sin. Naturally, since sin is the very thing that puts space between us and God this is no good. You see, God brings life… without him there is no life. It is possible, that we numb ourselves to the pain of life so much – that we forget we’re even alive. I will share the story, with permission, that lead me to this realization.

A friend of mine called me one night (or early morning I should say), in tears. She told me that she had cut wrists. After making sure that someone was on the way to check on her I continued to talk to her until they arrived. I found out this is something she used to do habitually. One question I had to ask was “why?” Her answer, unexpectedly, led me to one of the most heart wrenching truths… “I did it to remind myself that I am still alive.”

Still alive…

Pain is an unavoidable fact of life. When we push it away from our conciousness we can actually become so numb that we forget we’re alive. Life is the greatest gift of all… I urge everyone to stop trying to bury that pain deep inside of you. We’re not designed to carry the burden of pain on our own. Humans could be described as “herd animals.” We’re wired to live in community with God and one another, not alone and destitute.